Title: HarvardRadcliffe Class of 1979
1HR 79 2009 Report Whats more interesting than
us?
2www.HR1979.com
- todays presentation
- Overall survey results
3Our Agenda
- Harvard Radcliffe MJR
- Marriage family MJR
- Health, lifestyle, fertility JCS
- Careers, work money JCS
- Sex JCS
- Spirituality MJR
- Politics JCS
- Happiness MJR
- Open ended ?s JCS
- Changes across the years MJR
4Overview - 150 responses
- 61 Male
- 89 Caucasian, 3 Hispanic, 3 African American,
5 Asian - 40 Urban, 51 suburban, 6 small town, 3 rural
- 93 heterosexual
- 28 Protestant, 16 Jewish, 17 Catholic, 30
atheist or agnostic
5Starting at the beginning Harvard?
- 52 encountered most stimulating people at HR
- 58 for women
- 48 for men
- For 19 of us, closest friends are HR folks
- 65 look back w/ pride, 78 w/ fondness, 50 w/
gratitude, 17 regret, 3 anger
6Impact on career and personal satisfaction
- Career
- HR significant impact on career for 57
- HR afforded me opportunities I never dreamed of
for 10 - Personal Satisfaction
- Significant effect for 57
- Life changing for 24
7HR Today...better or worse than 30 years ago?
- 17 no clue
- 18 worse and much worse
- 9 much better
- 56 somewhat better
- 3 X as many women think much worse, and 2X as
many men think much better (small s)
8Marriage, Family
- 8 of Men, 9 of Women, Never Married
- 75 both men and women married 1X
- 11 women, 15 men married 2X
- 6 women, 1 men married 3X
- Of the currently unmarried, 75 of women and 37
of men would rather be married - 85 With Kids
- 95 Of The Married Have Kids
9Inbreeding
- 33 of women and 12 of men are married to a
classmate - 76 of classmate marriages described as great or
very good compared to 80 of non-classmate - 8 divorce rate for classmates vs. 24 for non
10If not married, which of the following best
describes why you are not married?
11My marriage or committed partnership is
12Have you ever been unfaithful to your partner?
13Have you ever attended counseling to attempt to
salvage or improve a marriage or relationship?
14How old is your spouse? (3 have had a spouse
die)
15What is your partner's highest level of education?
16How many children do you have?
17How old were you when you had your first child?
18Children have changed my life
19Who spends more time caring for the children?
20How have children affected your relationship with
your partner?
21My children are(check all that apply)
22My children's high school was/will be
23Do you have children in college?
24Putting aside your own kid (if any) I believe the
current younger generation ( mid- to late teens)
is...
25Again, leaving your own kids out, I believe this
younger generation is
26Health, Fertility, Lifestyle
27Have you or a partner undergone treatment to
enhance fertility or bring a pregnancy to term?
28How much alcohol do you consume weekly? (1 beer1
glass of wine1 mixed drink)
29How many cigarettes do you smoke daily?
30How many times a week do you use recreational
drugs?
31Have you ever been treated for substance abuse?
32How many hours per week do you devote to exercise?
33The level of stress in my life is
34Have you ever sought psychiatric or psychological
counseling?
35Have you taken prescription medication to treat
depression and/or anxiety?
36Have you had cosmetic surgery/treatments to
(check all that apply)
37Have you been diagnosed with any form of cancer?
38Have you had any serious heart problems?
39Conscientious?
- 76 of men have an annual prostate exam
- 84 of women have an annual mammogram
40How many of your (birth) parents are still alive?
41Are you responsible for or do you care for a
parent?
42How many hours per month do you spend on
volunteer work?
43Career, Work, Money
- 85 Went On To Further Education
- 77 work outside and 7 inside the home
- 58 Work In Business/Medicine/Law
- 2 retired
- 39 200K and gt Individual Income
- 65 200K and gt HH Inc.
44 What is your highest level of education?
45If you work for money, how many hours per week do
you devote to paid work?
46Are you a founder or co-founder of the enterprise
where you work?
47Law, Business, Medicine 57
48Business Law most lucrative
49How many jobs have you held since graduating from
college?
50How many times have you changed careers?
51How frequently have you had to compromise your
ethical standards in pursuing a career?
52If you work for pay, how would you describe your
feelings about your career?
5347 of women stayed home w/ kids
54Do you feel trapped in your career?
55How satisfied are you with the balance you have
struck between a paying career vs. family,
friends community, self?
56Have you ever been a victim of sexual harassment
in the workplace?
57Have you ever been the victim of racial
discrimination in the workplace?
58Have you ever been the victim of gender
discrimination in the workplace?
59What was the primary factor in your choice of
work?
60How often do you think that you might have chosen
the wrong work?
61Have you attained the level of success you
anticipated you might enjoy 30 years out of
college?
62Are you fairly compensated for the work you do?
63All right, what is your annual personal earned
income?
64And your annual household earned income?
65And after were gone...
- 76 have a will
- 58 believe in the possibility of a significant
inheritance for their children - 65 not concerned about the prospect of leaving
significant wealth to children, 35 are concerned
66Income by Hours worked / week
67Income by success attribution
68Income by tenure w/ current employer
69Income by primary motivation for career choice
70Income by satisfaction level
71Income by feelings about career
72Income by feeling trapped
73Income by satisfaction w/ balance career / family
/ friends / community / self
74Income by level success
75Income by feelings about compensation
76If you won the lottery (and had zero financial
concerns)
77And those dream jobs are...
- talk-show host
- photography, writing, teaching
- writer
- teach
- practicing psychiatry in Australia's outback
- Teaching
- Writing
- Political
- additional real estate development
- Dreaming
- volunteering overseas
- working farm in upstate NY
- helping disadvantaged people
- teaching
- Writing
- writer
- school system superintendent
- executive director of a non profit charity
- being a life coach
- photography
- setting up a film and television production co.
- Teaching or Acting
- reinventing public schools
- Writing and volunteering with kids
- Perform medical research full time.
- music and medicine,
- writing
- healthcare/public health in third world
- producing films
- writing books
- build more sentient underwater robots
- Boat captain
- Writing
- I'd go back to Law School, get my degree.
- Write fiction
- Writing poetry composing music
- teaching
- politics / screen writing
78SEX
79How many times per month, on average, do you have
sex?
80Lately, my sex life is
81As I get older, my need for sex is
82With how many people have you had sexual
intercourse?
83Do you or your partner use Viagra or a similar
treatment?
84How old is your spouse?
85Have you ever been laid off or fired?
86Which of the following best describes your
current marital status?
87Lately, my sex life is
88I live
89Sex frequency by Spiritual Affiliation
90If you work for money, how many hours per week do
you devote to paid work?
91The level of stress in my life is
92How much alcohol do you consume weekly? (1 beer1
glass of wine1 mixed drink)
93I am a registered
94Spirituality
95Over the last 5 years, the importance of
spirituality to me has
96Over the past 5 years, the importance of
organized religion to me has
97Do you believe in God or a "higher power"?
98How often do you attend religious services?
99My child/ren is/are being or will be imbued with
100Politics
101I consider myself
102For whom did you vote in the 2008 Presidential
election?
103How would you rate Bush's presidency?
104How would you rate Obama's presidency (so far)?
105Have you changed your party affiliation since
1979?
106Do you believe the country is better off now than
it was five years ago?
107Do you work for social change?
108Are you politically active in your community?
109I am a registered
110All right, what is your annual personal earned
income?
111The biggest threat to the security of the U.S. is
112Other...
- Out of control government spending
- growing national debt
- reliance on oil for energy
- Our own arrogance.
- lack of understanding other cultures/systems
- unbridled illegal immigration
- lack of proper education
- Lack of good education
- American affluence
- broken political model, can't address challenges
- oil instability
- Narcissistic "it's all about me" attitude in U.S.
- pervasive persuasive antagonism and ignorance
- government fiscal policy
- A Congress White House w/ o real-world
experience - Lack of education both within the U.S. and
without - Mediocre educational systems resulting
extremism - all of the above
- naive and self serving policies in government
- Misguided liberal economic policies
- increasing inequity of resources and
opportunities - Islamic fundamentalism
- Budget deficit
- economic!!!!
- global warming
- social, economic environmental unsustainability
113Are term limits for elected officials a good idea?
114I am
115The recent economic crisis has
116For the economic crisis, I most blame
117Other...
- not regulating what should be over-regulating
rest - congress
- those who want much for little (, effort, time)
- The Democrats who required subprime loans
- human nature
- government agencies, politicians, financial
instit - George Bush and his administration
- the Bush admin's failure to enforce finan regs
- Greenspan and repeal of Glass-Steagall
- All of the Above and Myself.
118My political opinions are primarily shaped by
119All right, what is your annual personal earned
income?
120Have you ever sought psychiatric or psychological
counseling?
121How would you rate Bush's presidency?
122How would you rate Obama's presidency (so far)?
123Have you changed your party affiliation since
1979?
124Are you politically active in your community?
125For the economic crisis, I most blame
126Do you or your partner use Viagra or a similar
treatment?
127Is your standard of living better or worse than
that of your parents at the same age?
128How often do you attend religious services?
129Do you believe in God or a "higher power"?
130So, how happy are we?
131How would you describe your spiritual affiliation?
132What is your highest level of education?
133Which of the following best describes the
location of your primary residence?
134My current primary work is
135What was the primary factor in your choice of
work?
136Have you attained the level of success you
anticipated you might enjoy 30 years out of
college?
137All right, what is your annual personal earned
income?
138Do you feel you are making an important
contribution to society?
139The level of stress in my life is
140How much alcohol do you consume weekly? (1 beer1
glass of wine1 mixed drink)
141I am a registered
142Which of the following best describes your
current marital status?
143My marriage or committed partnership is
144Lately, my sex life is
145I live
146The happiest person in the class is
- Male, Buddhist, doctor, living in a small town,
chose his career for flexibility, had low
expectations when he graduated, making 400K /
year, low stress, 7-10 drinks a week, republican,
living w/ non-married partner, in a great
relationship w/ a great sex life, and no kids
around
147- The biggest surprise of the last 30 years is ...
148The personal...
- "that so many things slipped away because I was
too busy to be there! - How unprepared I was for the everyday challenges
of life - raising children, - How, inside, I'm still the same...and then I look
in the mirror.. - that I could successfully break away from my
parents' expectations and follow my own values
and proclivities professionally. - Getting sober in AA changed my life for the
better.
149Continued...
- I never married.
- How wonderful my kids are and how much I love
being with them. - I am not in jail
- How much I enjoyed being a father
- finding the love of my life after too many years
apart - how little I got done!
150The philosophical
- How the world is simultaneously magnificent,
glorious and utterly fallen and corrupt - how much I learn each day there are very few
days when I am not broadened in some way by the
world around me. - how fast they sped by
- how quickly time went by
151The political
- Fall of Soviet Union/Russia and the rise of
China. - President Obama's election
- that the american people sadly elected George
Bush - George Bush was elected President for 2nd time
- America finally elected an African American
President.
152The parochial
- the Red Sox finally winning the World Series
- Red Sox winning the World Series
- Red Sox winning the World Series (twice!)
153- The biggest disappointment of the last 30 years
is...
154The personal
- I never married.
- Getting divorced.
- going through two divorces
- never married, no family
- Sadness is a better word. Discovering that my
children have behavioral, emotional and learning
issues that I can ameliorate but not fix. - That I'm not so head-over-heels in love that I'd
want to get married again. - The death of my parents before our children were
born.
155Continued...
- not being more famous
- not having accomplished more in my career
- what a consuming career really cost me in time
and family without giving me more freedom and
financial security the discovery that nice guys
might really finish last. - how quickly it passed by while I focused only on
work -- I missed the ride - the death of my wife
- That I've had repeated health problems.
156The philosophical
- How much official morality and values are flimsy
veneers for the coarsest, self-serving, selfish
purposes - Observing the moral breakdown of our society and
being stuck in one of the epicenters -
Massachusetts. - The failure of our generation to have a positive
impact on the major problems facing the world
157The political
- The mistakes, especially on the war, economy and
climate change, made by the country over the past
8 years - . The rise of the religious right
- The rise of religious, ethnic and political
extremism everywhere. - The strong anti-tax, me-first, anti-choice
political voice in this country, exemplified by
George W. Bush. I didn't know we could all be so
selfish and short-sighted.
158The Profound
- the last episode of Seinfeld
- finding out that some people never grow up past
the middle school phase, like one of my freshman
roommates
159- What one thing do you wish you had known in 1979?
160Self-Knowledge
- Be brave. Be bold. You really can do whatever
you want. Think big. - Take advantage of youth to take risks and don't
fear failure - It's important to be ambitious - not just to be
talented! Talent won't open the doors, but may
keep them open. - What you fear is often what you should choose,
and where you should go.
161Continued...
- I should have been more confident about my
intellect, appearance, and potential to
accomplish more. - My potential to contribute to society. I somehow
expected less of myself than I found I was
capable of giving. I wish I had had higher
expectations. - Maturity is so much more fun than it looks, and
worth the effort to acquire. Middle age is a
joy. We will always look at the young and
remember ourselves they will not look at us and
see their future.
162Some practical advice would have been nice...
- Babies and dogs are babe magnets
- Put more money away for retirement
- Buy Microsoft.
- Buy and keep New York City real estate
- the importance of playing the field more with the
opposite sex to get more perspective.
163Life lessons
- how precious every moment is...
- that the time passes more quickly than you
realize - Take life less seriously
- Don't sweat the small stuff.
164Finally, words to live by
- Stretching before and after exercise is really
important to being able to continue to exercise
comfortably.
165- The single most important choice/ event /
circumstance that determined the course of your
personal life - for good or ill...
166Continued...
- following up on meeting my wife at work
- Meeting my current partner.
- choice of spouse
- Getting married to my Harvard classmate/boyfriend
- Making the decision to live with my life partner,
even though we were in a law firm where that was
frowned upon. - Meeting and marrying my wife (despite her having
been engaged to someone else when I met her)
167Continued...
- My choice of spouse
- My marriage.
- Meeting the man I hoped to marry when I was at
college - and being unable to imagine life
without him. - Meeting my wife on a warm summer night.
- marrying my high school sweetheart
- falling for my husband's turquoise eyes!
- FOR GOOD the sweet Harvard boy that I married
168Advice for those contemplating retirement
- Simplify your life. Focus on what is truly
meaningful to you. Follow your bliss. - Dont spend it idly-enjoy life, savor the moments
with family and friends and give something back
to society - give yourself freedom to see if you enjoy it if
not, reenter workforce - "I am semi-retired and it took a long time to get
used to a slower pace, less pay and lower status.
But I think I have finally rounded the bend and
found satisfaction in contributing to life on
many different levels and then watching how the
ripples emanate outwards.
169Continued...
- I am no longer in need of the status or the money
to determine my sense of self worth and that is a
big change for the better and provides a feeling
of freedom." - Enjoy the free time instead of feeling like one
should always be busy doing something productive. - Don't feel guilty about liking it (as I sometimes
do). Enjoy each moment fully. Keep doing things
for OTHERS. - Leave USA
170Finally, anything else youd like to share?
- For all its horrors, this world and this life
remains an infinitely breathtaking, awesome,
blessed source of joy, majesty, delight, comedy,
wonder and love. - What have I learned? Appreciate and make the most
of today. The past is gone and cannot be changed.
The future is not here yet and can be shaped.
171Continued
- Everything that worked for me for 45 years has
now started to work against me and so I am
rewiring myself to cultivate patience, grace,
non-judgementalism, resiliency and a less
competitive way of living, because I think that
is the only way to embrace aging so as not to
become old and bitter.
172And thoughts on Harvard...
- Harvard has been a label I've carried with me my
entire life...sometimes good, sometimes bad but
nearly always to my advantage - Harvard is broke and needs your help
- Thank you, Harvard. I am more thankful than ever
today. - If I were selecting a college, I would choose
Harvard again.
173Continued...
- My Harvard roommates have been a never-ending
source of support. God bless the person who
matched us up. - I miss Harvard.
- It's been a good 30 years. Our kids are doing
very well -- they're both undergraduates at
Harvard. - It's hard to keep loving Harvard when my own
child - far more qualified than I was -was denied
admittance. I wish I could compartmentalize my
own college experience apart from my hopes for my
children, but I find I cannot
174Continued...
- As a parent, I continue to be surprised at how
much better some other liberal arts colleges
conduct their undergraduate education, e.g. small
classes, faculty contact, academic counseling. I
think the best thing about Harvard were the
dorms, but I can't say that my education was
first rate. My daughter at Brown is having a
better academic experience (although, to use the
vernacular, their dorms "suck").
175Major Changes over past 15 years
- Urban dwelling down from 47 to 40, suburban up
from 41 to 51 - serene and content w/ the balance weve struck,
up from 59 to 71 - How we explain our success
- Intelligence down from 47 to 29
- Getting along w/ people up from 12 to 25
176Continued...
- Making an important contribution to society..up
from 70 to 82 - Career as first priority down from 30 to 15
- 78 of us still think time to switch careers
down from 84 - 23 who describe stress as high down to 13
- Those who drink 7 or more per week up from 19 to
29 - 11 care for a parent, up from 5
177How do we see the world
- Biggest threats
- 15 years ago domestic poverty (35) and
diminishing international competitiveness - 10 years ago domestic poverty (26) and regional
conflict - Now Financial crisis (26) ...domestic poverty
down to 5