Divorce

1
Divorce

• For the LORD God
  of Israel says That He
  hates divorce, For it
  covers one's garment with violence, Says the
  LORD of hosts. Therefore take heed to your
  spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.
• Malachi 216

2
Background

• Sermon preached by Bobby Holmes at the Northside
  church of Christ in Mansfield, TX on June 26th,
  2005.
• Subject Marriage, Divorce Remarriage
• Brother Holmes taught some things regarding
  Divorce (without remarriage) in the lesson that
  were cause for concern.
• This teaching is the subject of the lesson today

3
Background - 2

• At the time of the lesson, we were supporting
  Bobby Holmes, and Gregg Madden
• As a result of Bobbys lesson, and the aftermath
  of that lesson regarding events that happened at
  the Northside congregation, we received reports
  from Bobby and Gregg that differed in their
  perspective of the situation.

4
B. Holmes Support Letter

• On the down side, we had two families leave
  because they disagreed with the Truth taught here
  on marriage and divorce. This was after several
  weeks of studies with them failed to produce any
  change. The law of God is clear on the subject.
  One man one woman for life with one exception.
  If one leaves their mate for ANY reason other
  than fornication, they have two options. Remain
  unmarried or be reconciled. (cf. 1 Cor.
  710-11).
• July 2005 Report

5
G. Madden Support Letter

• Sad to say, we have heard of two congregations
  in the past couple of weeks that have split over
  simple issues of divorce and remarriage. In one
  case the brethren stood for the Truth In the
  other case the few that stood for Gods Word were
  shown the door and told that they would not be
  allowed to speak on the matter publicly before
  the congregation. We pray for the brethren who
  stood for the truth on these issues. We also
  pray for those that opposed the truth that they
  might come to repentance soon.
• July 2005 Report

6
Background - 3

• The elders were uncomfortable with supporting two
  men who were clearly on different sides of the
  issue, and determined it important to look into
  the matter more fully
• First step taken Private studies between Stan
  Cox and Bobby Holmes, where the issue was
  discussed.
• Stan wrote two separate documents, discussing the
  issue, and gave them to brother Holmes

7
Background - 4

• Second step When the issue was not reconciled,
  the elders had two studies with brother Holmes.
• At the end of the first of the two studies, the
  elders (at that time brother Gilliland was not
  serving as an elder), wrote a letter to Brother
  Holmes, indicating that his support from our
  congregation would cease.

8
Excerpt from Letter

• After our meeting with you, and our discussion
  of the lesson you preached at the Northside
  congregation, it is evident that we have
  differences with regard to the exegesis of
  several passages, as well as what the scriptures
  teach on the subject of divorce.
• While we remain ready and willing to continue
  any study with you on such matters, unfortunately
  these differences have the potential to cause
  conflict within the West Side congregation. In
  our role as shepherds of this congregation, we
  feel it best to protect the church by taking this
  step
• continued

9
Excerpt from Letter

• We retain great personal affection for you, and
  respect your integrity and honesty. We are
  saddened at taking this step, and pledge a
  willingness to continue our study of these
  matters with you, if you so desire, and on our
  own.
• It is our prayer that at some future date we
  will all have a more perfect understanding of
  such issues that will enable us to resolve our
  differences. We pray for Gods favor upon each
  of us as we struggle to understand Gods will on
  such difficult matters
• (January 11, 2006)

10
Background - 5

• Brother Gallman took the additional step to call
  brother Holmes before the delivery of the letter.
• He told brother Holmes of the letter, and
  repeated the confidence expressed in that letter
  regarding Bobbys integrity and honesty
• He further indicated that a second component
  (which also led to the rescinding of brother
  Maddens support) was the need to reduce outside
  support due to financial considerations.

11
Background - 6

• The second study with brother Holmes came after
  the letter was sent and received.
• Neither of the two studies, nor email exchanges
  between brother Holmes and Stan Cox have led to
  any perceivable headway in resolving the
  differences in teaching.
• The pledge to continue study on this matter
  remains to this day.

12
Background - 7

• Due to Bobbys teaching, the elders did not feel
  comfortable endorsing his efforts, and continuing
  our fellowship in his preaching.
• His support has been rescinded, and the West Side
  congregation no longer has any ties with him in
  his preaching work.
• As an autonomous congregation we have this right.
• The elders have this right to exercise their
  judgment in this matter.

13
Background - 8

• Bobby Holmes recognizes these rights. While he
  disagrees with the position we have taken
  regarding these issues, he has expressed his
  understanding that the elders have acted in a way
  in keeping with their scriptural right.
• He has spoken and written of his confidence in
  the character and integrity of the elders at West
  Side.

14
Background - 9

• Materials available to the congregation (if
  requested)
• Audio of this sermon, and handout of slides
• Audio of Bobby Holmes sermon (6/26/05)
• Support letters from Holmes and Madden
• Bulletin articles written by Stan Cox on the
  subject of Divorce (with exegesis of Matt. 19
  Matt. 5 1 Cor. 7 Luke 18)
• Further study if needed
• If you have questions, or would like to study
  further with the elders, let them know

15
An Admonition to Us All

• Issues such as these always have potential to
  divide brethren.
• Our treatment of this issue should be with love
  and deference to one another.
• Their should be light, not heat on this matter.
• The appeal must be to Gods word, rather than
  men.
• We must not allow this to be a cause of
  dissension or unrest in our congregation.

16
The Issue

• Is there any other exception
  other than the one
  explicitly stated in Matthew
  19, wherein a Christian may divorce his or
  her spouse without sinning. (It is accepted that
  sexual immorality is the sole exception that
  would allow for the innocent party to remarry).

17
Areas of Agreement

• (Claimed areas of agreement, as per Bobby Holmes.
  Presented in second study)
• Do we not all agree that Gods law for marriage
  is one man for one woman for life with one
  exception?
• I firmly believe and advocate that Christ must
  be put first in every relationship including
  marriage. Conceivably, situations CAN arise
  where that relationship must be sundered or
  leave in order to keep Christ and His kingdom
  first.
• Now, please tell me wherein we are in
  disagreement?

18
The Contention

• Gods law on marriage, divorce remarriage is a
  specific law, with one specific, explicitly
  stated exception to the law.
• Gods law on marriage and divorce (when
  remarriage is not considered) is a general law.
  And there are factors which may allow for at
  least one unstated exception.
• (Bobbys reference, Eph. 524)

19
Ephesians 524

• Therefore, just as the church is
  subject to Christ, so let the wives
  be to their own husbands in everything.
• Bobby contends
• There are exceptions to the everything of
  Ephesians 524
• There are exceptions to Gods law regarding
  divorce.

20
Problems with the Argument

• It is only an assertion that God has two laws,
  one for remarriage, one without remarriage.
  (Invalid, as we will prove).
• It is only an assertion that Gods law regarding
  divorce only is a general one, allowing for
  non-explicit exceptions. (Unproveable, but moot
  point, as the first contention is not true).
• If one non-explicit exception is allowed, why not
  many? Who determines the validity of any
  particular exception?

21
Further Problems

• Ephesians 524 sets man (delegated authority) VS
  God (ultimate authority).
• Bobbys argument, however, sets God against God
• God says, I hate divorce (cf. Mal. 216)
• God says, Divorce O.K. (Holmes contention)
• Parallel to Mormon Doctrine of Mental Reservation
• God says, Lying is a sin (cf. Rev. 218)
• God says, Lying O.K. (Mormon contention)
• Parallel to Jewish Traditions (cf. Mk. 79-13)

22
Mark 79-13

• He said to them, "All too well you reject
  the commandment of God, that you may
  keep your tradition. 10 For Moses said, 'Honor
  your father and your mother' and, 'He who curses
  father or mother, let him be put to death. 11
  "But you say, 'If a man says to his father or
  mother, "Whatever profit you might have received
  from me is Corban"-' (that is, a gift to God), 12
  then you no longer let him do anything for his
  father or his mother, 13 making the word of God
  of no effect through your tradition which you
  have handed down. And many such things you do."

23
A Discussion of Verses Which Bear on our Subject

• Matthew 193-9
• Matthew 532
• Luke 1829-30
• 1 Corinthians 710-11

24
Matthew 193-9

• The Pharisees also came to Him,
  testing Him, and saying to Him, Is it
  lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just
  any reason? 4 And He answered and said to them,
  Have you not read that He who made them at the
  beginning made them male and female, 5 and
  said, For this reason a man shall leave his
  father and mother and be joined to his wife, and
  the two shall become one flesh? 6 So then, they
  are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what
  God has joined together, let not man separate. 7
  They said to Him, Why then did Moses command to
  give a certificate of divorce, and to put her
  away?

25
Matthew 193-9, cont

• 8 He said to them, Moses, because
  of the hardness of your hearts,
  permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the
  beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you,
  whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual
  immorality, and marries another, commits
  adultery and whoever marries her who is divorced
  commits adultery.

26
Matthew 531-32

• Furthermore it has been said, Whoever
  divorces his wife, let him give her
  a certificate of divorce. 32 But I say to you
  that whoever divorces his wife for any reason
  except sexual immorality causes her to commit
  adultery and whoever marries a woman who is
  divorced commits adultery.

27
Commentary Quotes

• Fowler indicates that she (the divorced wife) is
  the unfortunate victim of a vicious system which
  subjects her to the caprice of her husband. What
  is unequivocally clear is that the stigma of
  adultery is related to her remarriage.
• Bible Study Textbook Series, Matthew, Volume 1,
  page 281

28
Commentary Quotes

• Boles is bold in his assessment of Jesus
  teaching He is clear on this point he lays
  down his teaching here with entire precision he
  admits but one valid ground for divorce, namely
  fornication. Whoever puts away his wife for any
  other reason tempts her to marry again Jesus
  assumes that the pretended divorce goes for
  nothing that she is still his wife, and that
  marrying again involves adultery. Not only does
  she become an adulteress, but whoever shall marry
  her becomes an adulterer.
• New Testament Commentaries, Gospel Advocate,H.
  Leo Boles, Matthew, page 143.

29
Commentary Quotes

• The mere fact of divorce did not make her an
  adulteress, but it brought her into a state of
  disgrace from which she invariably sought to free
  herself by contracting another marriage, and this
  other marriage to which her humiliating situation
  drove her made her an adulteress
• McGarvey, Pendleton, The Fourfold Gospel, page 242

30
Commentary Quotes

• (4) Our Lord showed how this conduct operated
  against the Law. It made an adulteress of the
  divorced wife for it treated her as though she
  has been such. It exposed her to the temptation
  to commit adultery. Bound by the law of her
  husband during this natural life, even did she
  marry another she would be an adulteress (see
  Rom. vii.1-3). By parity of reasoning, whoever
  married her would be an adulterer. The proper
  husband is responsible as the cause of all these
  consequences
• Pulpit Commentary, Matthew, page 217

31
Matthew 531-32

• Furthermore it has been said, Whoever
  divorces his wife, let him give her
  a certificate of divorce. 32 But I say to you
  that whoever divorces his wife for any reason
  except sexual immorality causes her to commit
  adultery and whoever marries a woman who is
  divorced commits adultery.

1. No remarriage (for the whoever) in the context
   of this verse
2. Answers our question! For any reason except
   sexual immorality (Divorcer guilty!)

32
Luke 1828-30

• Then Peter said, See, we have left
  all and followed You. 29 So He said to
  them, Assuredly, I say to you,
  there is no one who has left house or parents or
  brothers or wife or children, for the sake of the
  kingdom of God, 30 who shall not receive many
  times more in this present time, and in the age
  to come eternal life.

33
Problems with the Argument

• Divorce is not mentioned explicitly, and is not
  at all in the context of Luke 18.
• Whatever the leaving is, Peter had done it! (And
  yet, Peter led about a wife cf. 1 Corinthians
  95)
• If you can divorce for the kingdoms sake, then
  you can also abandon your children, and abdicate
  your responsibility to you parents (cf. Mk. 7)
• Is sin sometimes not sin? (Sit. Ethics?)

34
1 Corinthians 710-11

• Now to the married I command, yet
  not I but the Lord A wife is not
  to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she
  does depart, let her remain unmarried or be
  reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not
  to divorce his wife.

35
Problems with the Argument

• The context indicates that Paul was repeating
  Jesus teaching, not establishing a new teaching.
  (cf. vs. 10)
• We have already seen that there are no second
  exceptions in Matt. 19 or 5.
• There is nothing in the passage which requires
  this action to be sinless (arguing from silence
  proves nothing)
• Same instructions would be given to one who
  divorces for frivolous reasons
• Paul was dealing with a question concerning the
  state of the marital relationship

36
Commentary Quotes

• (vs. 10), Whereas in vv. 8-9 Paul has simply
  given his advice since whether one marries or not
  is an optional matter, in this verse Paul
  commands. Paraggello is a verb meaning to
  order, command, direct or charge. There are no
  options left for this person he simply obeys the
  Lord or stands in rebellion to him (emphasis
  mine, SC)
• Mike Willis, 1 Corinthians, pages 98-99

37
Commentary Quotes

• The statement but if she depart (ean de kai
  choristhe) describes an exception whether past,
  present, or future. In the event that the wife
  (or husband) leaves her husband (or wife), then
  she (or he) must remain unmarried. Paul
  recognized that, in spite of the commandments,
  emphasis mine, SC, some would nevertheless
  choose not to live together. In such cases,
  there were only two alternatives available. (1)
  To remain single or (2) be reconciled to ones
  mate
• Mike Willis, 1 Corinthians, pages 98-99

38
Commentary Quotes

• This passage undoubtedly teaches that the
  believer is to take no steps to hinder the
  restoration of the marriage relations, but to be
  ready to seek to restore them. Divorce is
  intended to make the separation permanent and to
  make unlawful marriage possible. No Christian
  can do this. Nothing severs the marriage
  relationship between Christians save the sin of
  adultery.
• David Lipscomb, 1 Corinthians
• Gospel Advocate Commentaries

39
More problems

• The context strongly denies the right to divorce.
• not to depart (vs. 10) not to divorce (vs.
  11) let him not divorce (vs. 12) let her not
  divorce (vs. 13).
• Coach, Dont turn the ball over, but if you do,
  hustle back on defense. (Doesnt indicate that
  in certain circumstances, turnovers are OK).
• Though a Christian can allow a non-believer to
  depart (vs. 15), there is no authority to seek a
  divorce.

40
Conclusion

• Nowhere in scripture is there a valid rationale
  for Christians to divorce without sinning,
  except for sexual immorality (cf. Matthew
  199).
• While we retain our deep affection for brother
  Holmes, we can not endorse his teaching, and must
  defend the truth against any error taught.
• We must treat others (including one another) with
  kindness and patience.
• If you have questions, talk with the elders. May
  God bless us with peace at West Side.

41
Gods Law for Marriage

• One Man
• One Woman
• For Life
• With one exception