Eldercare Track Talk by Wong Chai Kee

1
Eldercare Track Talk by Wong Chai Kee
Dementia A Personal Caregiving Journey 7
November 2009
1
2
Caregivers Needs

• As a caregiver I needed two forms of help
• Encouragement to care with constancy and
  creativity and
• Practical ideas on coping with and caring for
• my mother, who suffered of Alzheimers.

2
3
Caregivers Experience

• Things I learnt
• From fact-finding - Educating.
• From caregivers and sufferers - Revealing. -
  Touching - Encouraging.
• From journeying - Believing. - Blessing.

3
4
Caregivers Experience

• My Caregiving Journey
• Denial Trying to avoid facing the inevitable.
• Despair Depression Realising the inevitable.
• Shocks Being shaken and stunned.
• Resignation Feeling stuck and helpless.
• Acceptance Trying to move on.
• Solutions Trying to move forward.
• Joy and Pain Switching about.

4
5
Caregivers Experience

• Is decline inevitable?
• PQ Physical Quotient
• IQ Intelligence Quotient
• EQ Emotional Quotient
• RQ Resiliency Quotient
• SQ Spiritual Quotient

5
6
Caregivers Experience

• Coping with Decline
• In the world of facts.
• In the world of feelings.

6
7
Caregivers Experience

• Coping with Dementia
• What you can, and cannot, do.
• What you must, and must not, do.
• What to, and not to, do.

7
8
Caregivers Experience

• Relating withthe Dementia Sufferer
• Early on.
• In the middle.
• Toward the end.

8
9
Caregivers Experience

• Communicating withthe Dementia Sufferer
• Windows of opportunity.
• Manner of entry/exit.
• Ways of expression.

9
10
Caregivers Outlook
The greatest dangerfor most of usis not
that our aim istoo highand we miss
it,but that it istoo lowand we reach
it.Michelangelo
10
11
Caregivers Outlook
C-G Imperative stop caring, stop
growing. Keep caring, keep growing.
11
12
Caregivers Outlook
Do one thing every day that scares
you. Eleanor Roosevelt
12
13
Caregivers Outlook
Nothing is so contagious as enthusiasm.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
13
14
Caregivers Outlook
You miss 100 of the shots you never
take. Wayne Gretzky
14
15
Caregiving Practice
Practice makes Per____t.
15
16
Caregiving Practice
MBWA
Barack Obama "I'm a firm believer that 90
percent of success is showing up."
16
17
Caregiving Practice

• Two Things about Presence
• Going there
• Being there

17
18
Caregiving Practice

• Power of COE
• Care Especially Scheduled Care
• Observation Especially Attentive Observation
• Expression
• Especially Spontaneous Expression

18
19
Caregiving Practice

• Name me a Caregiver
• who has never said anything wrong,
• and Ill call him a caregiver
• who has not said anything at all.

19
20
Caregivers Impact
Power of company who we becomedepends
on Who we spend time with.
20
21
Caregivers Impact

• Find Your Place
• Give Your Presence

21
22
Profile of Wong Chai Kee

• Mr Wong Chai Kee is Principal Consultant of his
  own company, CPS Consultants
• an independent firm established in 1986 to
  provide corporate psychological services
• in change management skills. He has since served
  over 185 clients mostly
• multinational, government-linked and publicly
  listed corporations. He has been a
• motivational leadership, coaching and
  training-the-trainer consultant to SMRT
• for the past two years.
• Mr Wong has been an International Presenter with
  Time Manager International since 1986.
• The Copenhagen-based TMI was selected by the
  European Union as the number one training
• and education firm in Europe.
• Mr Wong held key professional and management
  positions in the public and private sectors.
• He started his career as a psychologist with the
  Ministry of Defence. He was a member of the
• Singapore Government's premier Administrative
  Service for five years.
• A former Colombo Plan Scholar and MacFarland
  Scholar at the University of Melbourne, he
• graduated with a First Class Honours degree in
  psychology in 1975. At the university he won
• numerous prizes and scholarships for psychology,
  philosophy and academic excellence. He
• was awarded First Class Honours in subjects
  ranging from pure mathematics to philosophy,

22
23
Author of Critically Acclaimed Book

• Mr Wong is the author of Even When She Forgot My
  Name Love, Life and My Mothers
• Alzheimers, The Business Times (15 May 2009)
  strongly endorsed the memoir for its
• literary merits, as follows
• what a delight it was to discover that
  Wong's book about his mother, Even When
  SheForgot My Name is a beautifully-penned memoir
  and well-written book that describes a difficult
  subject such as Alzheimer's with clarity. Even
  When She Forgot My Name is first and foremost a
  book to be savoured for its writing. Wong sticks
  to simple and direct, yet evocative language, to
  tell the story of his Hakka mother and her battle
  with Alzheimer's in her later years.
• it's impossible to go through chapter by
  chapter without constantly tearing up. Wong
  maintains the sensitive balance of fact and
  introspection that he sets from the beginning,
  one that allows for us to empathise with his
  rollercoaster emotions but yet never drags the
  reader down in depression.
• Even When She Forgot My Name isn't an easy book
  to write, much less to write well - with its
  intimate insight, as well as physiological and
  psychological detail. That it's practically a
  page-turner - highly recommended for anyone who
  wants a fresh appreciation of his or her ageing
  parents - is a testament to Wong's ability to be
  supremely disciplined in his writing and to stick
  to the essential storyline. By documenting his
  mother's decline, he has brought his mother to
  life in the pages of this book.

23