Persuasive Essay

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Persuasive Essay 1- TV
F2
UMS 6th Gr. Ex.
List some of the good things in these
paragraphs.Any suggestions for improvement?
Topic is clearly stated
Some people may ask the question, Would the
world be better off without television? In my
opinion, no. I feel television has a purpose.
First of all, its an affordable, manageable
entertainment device. Second, it combines sight
and sound to get news out faster. Its obvious,
I feel, for logical reasons, I say no, we are
fine with television. As I have said, I feel
that television is an inexpensive, easy to use
amusement device. Because movies are becoming
more and more expensive, less and less families
can go. To solve this problem, families can rent
a movie for much less. Besides being cheap, its
an easy way to spend quality family time
together. Some people may say, But there are
awful programs. We shouldnt watch TV! Yes,
bad shows do lurk around the dark corners of
television, but only if you are carelessly
searching. There are controls such as parental
block which block these programs. There are also
ratings for shows which parents can block from
their children. Besides this, people can make
their own decisions! They can make their own
choice
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Would you be able to C.O.R.C. this example?
Clear, concise purpose
Some people may ask the question, Would the
world be better off without television? In my
opinion, no. I feel television has a purpose.
First of all, its an affordable, manageable
entertainment device. Second, it combines sight
and sound to get news out faster. Its obvious,
I feel, for logical reasons. I say no, we are
fine with television. As I have said, I feel
that television is an inexpensive, easy to use
amusement device. Because movies are becoming
more and more expensive, less and less families
can go. To solve this problem, families can rent
a movie for much less. Besides being cheap, its
an easy way to spend quality family time
together. Some people may say, But there are
awful programs. We shouldnt watch TV! Yes,
bad shows do lurk around the dark corners of
television, but only if you are carelessly
searching. There are controls such as parental
block which block these programs. There are also
ratings for shows which parents can block from
their children. Besides this, people can make
their own decisions! They can make their own
choice
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Half the class examines Essay 2. The other half
examines Essay 3- Find at least two positive
things in each of these essays.- Find at least
one thing to improve in each one.
Essay 2
Essay 3
The position (pro/con) is not clear
I agree with the statement, every-one would
be better off without TV, because you can spend
more time checking your homework, you canbe more
active, and your electricitybill wont be as
high. One reason is, maybe you can have the
chance to get better grades.. Another reason
is you never get enough sports or anything that
keeps.. Finally, if your electricity bill has
As you can see, if you think TV is a way of
having a good time, you are absolutely wrong and
you may end up with obesity or diabetes because
you dont get enough exercise.
Sure, people will say we dont
needtelevision, but there are reasons whywe
should have it to an extent. My first reason
is, we have educa-tional channels. Without the
. Also, the news is a good reason The
most important reason is the Even though
people say T.V. is braindumbing, or has
inappropriate showsyou can.. So, even though
there are bad thingson television, we still need
it becauseof educational channels, news,
andalert systems.
The conclusion restates the 3 body parag. ideas
and C.A.,but these should have also beenstated
in the introduction.
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Essay 3 - Find at least two positive things
about it.Give at least one suggestion to make it
stronger.
The position (pro/con) is not clear
The position is clear
I agree with the statement, every-one would
be better off without TV, because you can spend
more time checking your homework, you canbe more
active, and your electricitybill wont be as
high. One reason is, maybe you can have the
chance to get better grades.. Another reason
is you never get enough sports or anything that
keeps.. Finally, if your electricity bill has
As you can see, if you think TV is a way of
having a good time, you are absolutely wrong and
you may end up with obesity or diabetes because
you dont get enough exercise.
Sure, people will say we dont
needtelevision, but there are reasons whywe
should have it to an extent. My first reason
is, we have educa-tional channels. Without the
. Also, the news is a good reason The
most important reason is the Even though
people say T.V. is braindumbing, or has
inappropriate showsyou can.. So, even though
there are bad thingson television, we still need
it becauseof educational channels, news,
andalert systems.
3 body par. reasons are stated
Good transitions
Obesity and diabetes were never mentionedin the
intro. or body parg. They are just thrownin
here in the conclusion.
The conclusion restates the 3 body parag. ideas
and C.A.,but these should have also beenstated
in the introduction.
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I believe that people would be better off
without television and there are many reasons
why. My reasons are First of all television
is not healthy. People can get fat Seconly
there are some inappropriate programs that
Lastly there are some good channels that kids can
learn stuff from the Discovery channel or Animal
Planet, but the reason kids dont watch those
channels all the time is because they channel
surf and there are more bad shows than good
shows so they are more likely to find an
inappropriate show. In conclusion