Love Hurts

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Love Hurts
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Dr. Fishers Stages of Love
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• Lust gets us on the hunt for potential mates,
  and romantic love narrows our focus and energy to
  just one person, while attachment encourages us
  to stick with this partner long enough to raise
  children.
• From Psychology Today

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Enduring Love

• Years subdue the ardor of passion, but in lieu
  thereof friendship and affection deep-rooted
  subsists, which defies the ravages of time, and
  whilst the vital flame exists.
• Abigail Adams

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Attachment (Companionate Love)

• If partners are going to stay together for the
  years of care that children require, they need a
  love that bonds them to each other but without
  the passion that would be a distraction.

• Youve got to make a transition to a stabler
  state, says Barry McCarthy, a psychologistIf
  love can be mundane, thats because sometimes
  its meant to be.

Why We Love Time Magazine By Jeffrey Kluger
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Robert Sternbergs Definition of Love

• IntimacySharing secrets
• PassionPhysical attraction
• CommitmentWillingness to label and maintain

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Robert Sternbergs Triangular Theory of Love
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(No Transcript)
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Celebrity Case Study J. Lo
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Lessons from the Animal Kingdom
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Falling Out of Love
Joe Dude, where'd she dump you, man?Lloyd
In the car.Denny Oh man, your car? Man,
Dissed in the Malibu. Thats your castle,
man. From Say Anything
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Lost Love Stage I (Protest)

• Elevated levels of dopamine, norepinephrine,
  cortisol
• Anger and rage as a survival mechanism?
• TIME heals this separation anxiety, panic, and
  rage

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Lost Love Stage I (Protest)
DC Why dont you just call her again?Lloyd
I draw the line at 7 unreturned phone calls.
Lloyd "Hi, this is Lloyd. This is my 8th and
final phone call."
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Lost Love Stage II (Resignation/Despair)

• Decreased levels of dopamine
• Benefits of depression?
• Again, TIME heals loves wounds

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Lost Love Stage II (Resignation/Despair)
Lloyd "She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave
her my heart... she gave me a pen."
Lloyd The rain on my car is a baptism, the new
me, Power Lloyd, my assault on the world begins
now.
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Crimes of Passion

• Low levels of serotonin
• The Justice Department reports that every year
  over a million American women are stalked (most
  are between ages eighteen and thirty-nine) 59
  percent of them are stalked by boyfriends,
  husbands, former spouses, or live-in partners.
• Some 370,000 American men reported being stalked
  in 1997 most were between the ages of eighteen
  and thirty-ninemen of reproductive age.