Wedding traditions

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Wedding traditions

• Lithuania

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Lithuania is an old country with wedding
traditions that stretch back hundreds of years.
Over the centuries weddings traditions and
customs in Lithuania have evolved very slowly,
with one thing remaining constant the overriding
importance of family. Many of the traditions
practiced today have deep roots that are easily
traced to customs and traditions from long ago.
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The traditional Lithuanian marriage ceremony had
three distinct parts.Traditionally marriage in
Lithuania is divided into three parts. First
there is the matchmaker who puts the couple
together and arranges the dowry, then there is
the wedding ceremony itself which consists of
several very specific customs, and finally there
is
what is called in Lithuanian the atgriztai, or
the coming back, during which the bride and groom
return to the brides parents home, where the
bride is now welcomed as a guest rather than as a
member of the family.
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In the past many Lithuanian families lived rather
isolated lives on scattered farms. It was not
always easy for young people to meet or to get to
know each other. Therefore the father of a
prospective groom would hire the services of a
matchmaker to find a suitable wife for his son.
Even if a couple knew each other previously and
wished to marry, the matchmaker was still hired
to negotiate the dowry that the brides family
would pay to the groom for marrying their
daughter.
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Engagement periods varied from region to region
and could also be determined by whether the
couple was already acquainted or whether they
first met through the services of the matchmaker.

The first part of the ceremony was the brides
good-bye to herfamily and home and her
introduction to the grooms home.
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The traditional Lithuanian marriage ceremony
itself was very ritualistic. It began early in
the morning with the bride saying good-bye to her
parents and to her parents home. This was a very
dramatic and sad time, with a great deal of
sorrowful music and farewell songs, culminating
with the bride riding away from her parents home
and to the home of her future husband.
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The brides arrival at the home of her intended
was the second stage of the marriage ceremony.
Preceding the bride would be the kraitveziai, or
the dowry drivers. They would arrive with the
brides dowry chests which were filled with
things that she had collected over the years in
anticipation of this very moment. A typical dowry
chest might contain such items as rolls of
fabric, towels, clothing, bedclothes and similar
items.
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Towels and sashes were important items in ancient
Lithuania. One of the first things the
prospective bride did upon entering the grooms
home was to place a red towel on the hearth next
to the stove in order to gain the good graces of
the spirits of the home. She also hung sashes on
various places of honor around the home, and then
presented the grooms parents with towels,
sashes, and shirt material.
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The second part of the marriage was the wedding
ceremony itself.The actual wedding ceremony
itself followed the presentation of the bride to
the grooms household. The bride-to-be entered
the church wearing a wreath of rue, symbolizing
her childhood. The ceremony would begin with the
brides matron of honor and other married women
removing the brides girlish wreath of rue and
replacing it with the headdress of a mature
woman, symbolizing the young brides transition
from girlhood into womanhood.
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The wedding vows varied from region to region of
Lithuania but were generally fairly simple,
requiring the couple to pledge themselves one to
another until death parted them. A charming
tradition was to have the flower girl and the
ring bearer both dressed in exact miniature
copies of the bride and grooms wedding outfits.
At the conclusion of the ceremony the bride and
groom place the wedding rings on each others
finger, symbolizing never-ending love, and the
marriage is sealed with a kiss.
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Following the vows, friends and family guard the
new couple jealously at the reception and spells
are cast and rituals performed that are intended
to keep evil spirits away from the
couple especially the bride and which would
also insure the couples fertility. Another
ancient tradition was for the couple to drink
wine and to eat salt and bread upon entering the
reception hall symbols of joy, tears, and work,
the three elements of a life together.
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The couple would also be showered with both grain
and water and were then wrapped in furs to insure
that their life together would be rich and
successful and that their future harvests would
be bountiful and their livestock healthy and fat.

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The third and final step in marriage is the
coming back.Finally came the third part of the
ceremony. This was the atgriztai or the coming
back. The coming back generally took place after
a one week honeymoon. During this part of the
ceremony the bride returned to her parents home
for a brief visit and she was welcomed into her
familys home as a guest, rather than as a member
of the family, symbolizing her transition from
her familys home to her own home.
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Today few Lithuanians follow all of the ancient
traditions, although in small, rural villages
many of the traditions are still followed today
as they have been for hundreds of years.
Nevertheless, even Lithuanians living in modern
cities still hearken back to many of the ancient
traditions as a way to both keeping a tie to
their heritage as well as a way to keep the
romance of marriage alive and well into the 21st
century.
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