Communicating with your Child about Divorce

1
Communicating with your Child about Divorce
2
Catch Them When You Can!

• Teens are filled with energy and activities and
  are usually on the run.
• A five minute discussion can be more meaningful
  than a half-hour talk, which your teen may label
  as a lecture

3
Stop and Talk

• When your teen wants to share STOP and TALK!
• Kids usually give clues when they need your
  attention.
• Stopping to sit, listen, look at them and respond
  is a message to them that you care.

4
Understand their Development

• By age 21, todays young people have faced more
  decisions than their grandparents faced in a
  lifetime.
• While you are experiencing a roller coaster ride,
  they probably are experiencing a steeper incline.
• Kids need support and encouragement at this time
• Let your teen learn what he or she is doing right

5
I Feel Statements

• Use I feel statement to convey your feelings and
  give your child the opportunity to respond in a
  similar manner.
• To avoid defensive behavior, contain your
  communication to the item occurring today not in
  the past (no you did or said).
• Always give your child a chance to respond when
  you are finished conveying your thoughts

6
Expect Changes in Relationships

• Often before leaving home, adolescents miss a
  relationship with a parent they may not have been
  close to.
• This is not a rejection, but rather a need for
  assurance, love and acceptance from both parents
• Be honest with your child in sharing the feelings
  and concerns you might have in permitting a move
  or more visits

7
Be Honest

• Be honest with your feelings about the divorce
  and try to share them with your teen.
• Sharing your feelings allows the child to then
  share their feelings.
• Helpful reminder each of you may feel
  differently about the divorce. Try not to put the
  other partner down in front of the child.

8
Time Outs and Calm Downs

• This can be a volatile stage for children and
  with a major family change, all tempers may be
  short.
• During calm times, discuss strategies for
  avoiding shouting matches and ways to deal with
  anger management issues.

9
Stay Positive

• Acknowledge all the positive things you can about
  your teen as well as the pressure he or she has.
• You model caring. It will be returned to you if
  your teen can first experience your caring