Raising a WellMannered Child

1
Raising a Well-Mannered Child
2
What are Good Manners Anyway?(Besides please and
thanks you)

• Be nice to people.
• Say Please when you ask for something.
• Say Thank You when you are given something.
• Say Youre Welcome when someone thanks you.
• Greet people when you see them.
• Look people in the eyes when you talk to them.
• Talk politely during meals.
• Dont interrupt when other people are talking.
• Share with others.
• Help people.
• Let guests go first.
• Be on time, especially if you are meeting someone.

3
A recent survey conducted by US News World
Report found nine out of ten Americans felt the
breakdown of common courtesy has become a serious
problem in this country. 78 said manners and
good social graces have significantly eroded over
past ten years, and is a major contributor to the
breakdown of our values in this country.
4
5 Steps to Better BehaviorGary Chapman and Ron
R. Lee

• Be consistent
• Stay Cool
• Clarify the consequences
• Be forgiving
• Overlook past offenses

5
Methods for Teaching Good Manners

• Reward Courtesy. Magic Words "Please., Thank
  you, May I?, Excuse me, I'm sorry., Pardon me.,
  I'm glad to meet you,, You go first., and May I
  introduce....?"
• Point Out the Value of Manners. Discuss with your
  children the value of good manners. You might
  say, "Using good manners helps you gain the
  respect of others. It's also a great way to meet
  new friends. Polite people just make the world a
  kinder place.
• Teach a Manner a Week

6
Methods for Teaching Good Manners

• Correct Impoliteness Immediately.
• When correcting your child use the three "Bs" of
  discipline "Be Brief, Be Private so no one but
  you and your child is aware you're correcting
  your child, and Be Specific."
• Practice Table Manners.
• Please pass ," "thank you," "May I be excused?"
  
• Keeping your napkin on your lap, chewing with
  your mouth closed, waiting for others to speak,
  and learning which fork to use with each course.

7
Eight Steps to Teaching Manners

• Step One - Create a mannerly and civil home. Good
  manners are a show of respect for all people,
  whether in your own home or at the mall. Your
  child will understand that manners are a part of
  daily life if you teach him respect for others.
• Step Two - Begin teaching your child manners in
  infancy. When you talk to your baby, say "Please"
  and "Thank you." Say the same to your spouse or
  other children. For example, if your
  four-year-old brings the pacifier to you, for the
  baby, say "thank you, sweetheart." When children
  hear good manners from infancy, it becomes a part
  of their experience and everyday life.

8
Eight Steps to Teaching Manners

• Step Three - Start with asking the child "What's
  the magic word?" Magic Words "Please., Thank
  you., May I?, Excuse me, I'm sorry., Pardon me.,
  I'm glad to meet you,, You go first., and May I
  introduce....?"
• Step Four - Teach your child by example. When you
  go to a grocery store with them, hold the door
  open for someone. When the person says "Thank
  you", answer "You're welcome." Explain to your
  child that you were being helpful to the person
  because you respect them.

9
Eight Steps to Teaching Manners

• Step Five - Point out the good manners of other
  people, such as the person who said "Thank you"
  at the grocery store. Explain that the person was
  showing you respect by saying "Thank you" to you.
  
• Step Six - Teach your child that good manners can
  also be opening a car door for someone, helping
  someone carry a bag or taking a message on the
  phone.
• Step Seven - Explain that when a person does
  something nice for you, you should thank them.

10
Eight Steps to Teaching Manners

• Step Eight - Practice good manners everyday in
  your home, include table manners and telephone
  manners as well. Explain why you are doing or
  saying what you are at the moment, your child
  will understand and practice good manners with
  you.

11
Seven Bad Attitudes that Scripture Tells us to
Avoid

• 1. WHINING -
• "Do all that you do cheerfully as unto the Lord
  and not unto men" Colossians 323.
• Whiners are not appreciated in the real world
  and God does not appreciate them either (1
  Corinthians 1010).
• 2. SOUR FACE -
• "I will leave off my sad countenance and be
  cheerful." Job 927
• The Lord said to Cain, 'Why are you angry? Why
  is your face downcast?' " Genesis 46
• A sour, pouty face is a window into a child's
  soul. It reveals a bad attitude that hampers the
  child's spiritual growth and development. Correct
  it for the good of the child. You will also have
  a happier home.

12
Seven Bad Attitudes that Scripture Tells us to
Avoid

• 3. JERKY BODY MOVEMENTS -
• "Better a patient man than a warrior a man who
  controls his temper than one who takes a city."
  Proverbs 1632
• Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man
  who lacks self-control." Proverbs 2528
• 4. DISRESPECTFUL TONE OF VOICE -
• "Honor your father and mother." Exodus 2012
• "Rise in the presence of the aged, show
  respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am
  the Lord." Leviticus 1932
• "Honor one another above yourselves." Romans
  1210
• Don't allow a disrespectful tone of voice to
  prevail. When you hear a disrespectful tone of
  voice, deal with it immediately.

13
Seven Bad Attitudes that Scripture Tells us to
Avoid

• 5. SELFISHNESS -
• "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain
  conceit, but in humility consider others better
  than yourselves. Each of you should look not only
  to your own interests, but also to the interests
  of others." Philippians 23,4
• This attitude may be revealed in the refusal to
  share, the taking of the bigger piece of pie, and
  the unwillingness to be generous with
  possessions.
• 6. GRUMBLING COMPLAINING -
• "Do everything without complaining or arguing."
  Philippians 214
• This is such an important attitude to deal with
  and yet we often let it slide in both our
  children and ourselves. Complaining kept the
  children of Israel from experiencing the promise
  of God (1 Corinthians 1010). Develop a thankful
  spirit!

14
Seven Bad Attitudes that Scripture Tells us to
Avoid

• 7. RESISTANCE TO SEEKING FORGIVENESS -
• "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive
  ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we
  confess our sins, He is faithful and just and
  will forgive us our sins and purify us from all
  unrighteousness." 1 John 18-9
• "Therefore confess your sins to each other and
  pray for each other so that you may be healed."
  James 516
• Our child's unwillingness to seek forgiveness is
  an attitude that will carry over into their
  relationships with others and with God. Inquire
  for the reason why your child is resistant to
  seeking forgiveness. Correct the attitude before
  it hardens the heart. Parents, you must model
  this attitude in your family and your own walk
  with your Father!

15
Manners to teach

• A few basics

16
Effective Introductions and Greetings
Good manners is the art of making people
comfortable in our presence. - Jonathan Swift

• Shaking hands
• Sir, Maam
• Eye contact
• Remove sunglasses
• How do you do
• Social Introductions
• Younger to older
• Man to a woman
• Use titles, e.g., Mr.
• Know preferences

• When not to shake hands
• Cultural taboos
• Eye and physical contact
• Understand the culture
• Introducing Yourself
• Hello, Im
• If the person introducing you forgets your name
• If you forget

17
Presenting Yourself
You never get a second chance to make a good
first impression.

• Personal Hygiene
• Bad breath, teeth, hair, BO, glasses, ear wax,
  clothing
• Four Tips
• Remove hats
• Remove sunglasses
• Groomed
• Attend to hygiene
• Skin and Nail Care
• Men Clean, short
• Women Clean, not too long, colors

• Bathing, deodorant, cologne
• Hair
• Shaving
• Brush and floss
• Cosmetics
• Lipstick smudges
• Apply in RRs not in public
• Piercings and Jewelry
• Disinfect daily

18
Presenting Yourself

• Clothes
• Clean and pressed
• Good condition
• Suitable for you and the situation
• Dont reveal undergarments
• Shoes shined
• Eyeglasses and Hats
• Clean and in good condition

• Fashion Trends
• Extremes Rebellion
• Piercings, Mohawks, tattoos, hair color, gaudy
  jewelry, immodest clothing
• Cover it up
• Posture
• Strong posture illustrates strength
• Bad posture illustrates weakness

19
Presenting Yourself

• Personal Values
• Listen to your alarm system
• Danger signs
• Promiscuous/Violent entertainment
• X-rated materials
• Drugs and alcohol
• Offensive jokes
• Harmful habits and attitudes

• Golden Rules
• Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
• High standards
• Say No even if everyone is doing it
• Tell the truth
• Choosing Friends

20
Presenting Yourself

• Your Home
• Housekeeping
• Order
• Odors
• Set a good example for future adults

21
Table Manners and Dinner Parties

• Place the napkin on your lap
• Dont flap it like a flag
• It isnt a bib, towel or handkerchief
• Dont rock or tip the chair
• Keep your feet flat on the floor

• Pass food CCW
• Use the serving utensils
• Use the knife to push food onto the fork
• One hand in your lap
• Never talk with your mouth full
• If too hot drink water

• When Finished
• Thank the host(ess)
• Offer to help clean up

• Place your napkin on the side and push chair in

22
Restaurants - General

• No cell phones or keys on the table
• Be courteous when you order
• Say thank you when served
• Use an inside voice
• Put handbags behind you not on your chair

23
Fast Food Cafeteria

• Know what you want before it is your turn
• Take only what you need (napkins, etc.)
• Place a napkin then your food on it
• Dispose of trash afterwards

• Know what you want before it is your turn
• When you get to the table set it like you would
  at home
• Keep your tray to bus dirty dishes

24
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain
conceit, but in humility consider others better
than yourselves. Each of you should look not only
to your own interests, but also to the interests
of others. Your attitude should be the same as
that of Christ Jesus"   Philippians 23-5